I recently had one of those nights that I chose my battle and DID NOT back down. My 3 year old is definitely hard headed and has always had a mind if his own (which is a great thing..or will be in the future..)
The afternoon was abnormally easy. No fighting or arguing..really (for them). They were playing together and getting along great! I made dinner (and added..well tried to hide yellow squash). Wrong thing momma! They do not like it. My 5 year old has learned to deal and eat what is served. Gosh! I even bribed them with half a cookie. Little L was having none of it. I told him to pick it (the squash) out, but he wouldn't. He just got pissed off! I get it..we have all been there, right? I gave him a choice. Pick it out or go to bed without dinner. Then he tossed his bowl and spoon on the table! What the hell! I got him out of his seat and carried him up to bed. More fits..more screaming. I calmly gave him his lovey, turned on his moon light, and walked away.
While all of this was going on, J had been eating his dinner waiting for me. As soon as he saw me he said, "Mommy I need to give you an arms and legs hug..and a kiss! I'm sorry L is not being nice." Wow. I love every single minute of our time together! (even though there was an abundance of screaming and crying in the background) He really made my night, and helped me calm down and realize to take a breath. We sat there and talked and ate dinner...it was awesome! Usually J doesn't say anything about his day. It doesn't matter how I phrase the questions.
You know the ones..
What happened that made you laugh today?
What happened that made you smile today?
What special did you have today? (even though I already know..it's really all about getting him to talk)
Who would you want an alien to take away?
There are an abundance of silly and fun questions to help your kid tell you a little more about there day. Mine just doesn't like talking until he is ready. So I wait. Tonight was the night! I just soaked it up :)
Then finally, quiet..He fell asleep. (Laaaa..that's the angel's singing)
For about 20 minutes..lol We (J and I) went to go check on him. He was in the playroom talking to himself and crying at the same time. (I think this might be the beginning of sleep walking..he was totally asleep) He had opened up the cabinet and was about to pee in it! I got him to the bathroom, but couldn't wake him enough to go potty. He decided his fit throwing wasn't enough. I put him back in his bed turned on a lamp and nightlight, and I locked the door. (anyone who knows this kid know that he has been able to unlock deadbolts since about 16 months..so I wasn't worried.) I got J to bed in my bed because he obviously couldn't sleep with that racket. We talked and snuggled some more until I heard..."MOM!" bang..bang..bang.."MOM!" I told J that I better go check on his brother. He said, "that's really nice Mommy." All I could do was laugh as I was going upstairs, because I figured it would be a matter of minutes before he unlocked the door himself and came downstairs...but no, he didn't. I opened the door, and asked why he didn't unlock it himself. He just looked me straight in the face and said, "Because I had to pee!" I just really wanted to belly laugh then, but I figured it would just make it worse. I helped him into his jammies, and had one snuggle song..he was OUT!
Fast forward to the following morning. It was L's 4th day of Preschool.
Every single morning has been BAD. I mean, really bad. 1st day was tears galore, but tried to be strong. 2nd day he cried so hard he made himself throw up. 3rd day more tears, but stronger...he just wouldn't let go of me.
This morning started out how the night ended. I walked away from him and said, "You DO NOT have the right to ruin my day..or your day. Calm down." We proceeded to get lunches packed and backpacks ready. The whole time him saying..I'm NOT going! Yes you are son, yes you are.
It ended up being a great day after we got through drop off and tears...and I got tons done in the short 5 hours to myself :)
One thing that I have learned over time is; Being happy is a choice..a decision. I do my best to make a choice to be happy every single day, and to learn a lesson from every thing I do. I think it makes me a wiser person.
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